Why is it that I listen to the serpent more than I listen to God? I turn to the world for answers that I know, that if I am lucky will only give me momentary relief, more than I turn to God, who has the ever right answers!
I am having one of those “duh” moments, where I realize what I am doing and just think to myself how stupid I am! This is a thought that has been percolating in my mind for the last couple of weeks, but finally hit the done stage.
Three of the big issues in my life are depression, anger, and pride in its many forms. I am realizing more and more these issues leaves me vulnerable to the world, to my flesh and to Satan’s attacks. I find the more intense my depression, anger or pride is, the deeper that my sin goes. The lower that I go.
What convicts me most is that I can see the process happening inside me. I can see the decision making process going from trying to be faithful to God and basking in His grace to deciding to sin. I MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO SIN, I know what I am doing. I realize just how faithless I am at times. It seems the more desperate I am, the further I run away from God. What is happening in my mind, is that I am justifying the sin by saying it is a way to get back at the “idiot” who I am mad at. All I am really doing is hurting my relationship with God, the other person doesn’t even know what is going on. This is exactly what the enemy wants, he wants us to be separated from God.
The more that this issue tumbles around in my mind the more that I realize that I am not the only one who does it and that maybe it started with Adam and Eve. Look at the verses from Genesis 2:25-3:10. Same pattern, exactly.
Genesis 2:25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
Genesis 3:2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
Genesis 3:4 “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5“For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Genesis 3:8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
Genesis 3:10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
Eve, was enticed by the serpent (world), would rather believe the serpent. She and Adam sinned against God and the time they needed God most, they hid. How sad it is that we started a pattern and that pattern has been imprinted on us ever since. The one person biblically speaking who continuously seemed to break the pattern was David. David definitely sin, but he also came back to the Lord over and over begging forgiveness and realizing how he doesn’t deserve God’s Grace. Psalm 51 is the one that I am thinking of.
Psalms 51:1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
Psalms 51:7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Psalms 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalms 51:13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
Psalms 51:18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
All I can do is keep trying to be more like David and remember the Lord when I am in crisis.
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