Here is Paul Tripp’s definition of love: “Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving” (What Did You Expect?p. 188).
In the following he unpacks the definition (pp. 188-189):
Love is willing.
Jesus said, “No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18). The decisions, words, and actions of love always grow in the soil of a willing heart. You cannot force a person to love. If you are forcing someone to love, by the very nature of the act you are demonstrating that this person doesn’t in fact love.
Love is willing self-sacrifice.
There is no such thing as love without sacrifice.
Love calls you beyond the borders of your own wants, needs, and feelings.
Love calls you to be willing to invest time, energy, money, resources, personal ability, and gifts for the good of another.
Love calls you to lay down your life in ways that are concrete and specific.
Love calls you to serve, to wait, to give, to suffer, to forgive, and to do all these things again and again.
Love calls you to be silent when you want to speak, and to speak when you would like to be silent.
Love calls you to act when you would really like to wait, and to wait when you would really like to act.
Love calls you to stop when you really want to continue, and it calls you to continue when you feel like stopping.
Love again and again calls you away from your instincts and your comfort.
Love always requires personal sacrifice.
Love calls you to give up your life.
Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another.
Love always has the good of another in view.
Love is motivated by the interests and needs of others.
Love is excited at the prospect of alleviating burdens and meeting needs.
Love feels poor when the loved one is poor.
Love suffers when the loved one suffers.
Love wants the best for the loved one and works to deliver it.
Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation.
The Bible says that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. If he had waited until we were able to reciprocate, there would be no hope for us.
Love isn’t a “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” bargain.
Love isn’t about placing people in our debt and waiting for them to pay off their debts.
Love isn’t a negotiation for mutual good.
Real love does not demand reciprocation, because real love isn’t motivated by the return on the investment. No, real love is motivated by the good that will result in the life of the person being loved.
Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another thatdoes not requirereciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.
Christ was willing to go to the cross and carry our sin precisely because there was nothing that we could ever do to earn, achieve, or deserve the love of God. If you are interested only in loving people who are deserving, the reality is that you are not motivated by love for them but by love for yourself. Love does its best work when the other person is undeserving. It is in these moments that love is most needed. It is in these moments that love is protective and preventative. It stays the course while refusing to quit or to get down and get dirty and give way to things that are anything but love.
There is never a day in your marriage when you aren’t called to be willing.
There is never a day in your marriage when some personal sacrifice is not needed.
There is never a day when you are free from the need to consider the good of your husband or wife.
There is never a day when you aren’t called to do what is not reciprocated and to offer what has not been deserved.
There is never a day when your marriage can coast along without being infused by this kind of love.
What would happen if you went up to one of the more profane entertainers and ardent atheist and gave them a bible. If you know the person hates everything you believe in. Do you think it would be a waste of time? Is it worth the effort? Or would you just go looking for someone easier to go talk to.
One day someone gave Magician and Atheist Penn Jillette a bible. This video has been floating around for a while, but it once again challenged me when I was asked if I was going to invite my parents and sister’s to our ELQ (which is like alpha). Hear his reaction from his own mouth and be challenged by his words.
Here is what he said:
“I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize. I don’t respect that at all. If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell, and people could be going to hell, and not getting eternal life or whatever. And you think that it’s not really worth telling people this because it would be socially awkward. And atheists who think that people shouldn’t proselytize, just leave me alone, keep your religion to yourself. How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize, how much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible, and not tell them that. I mean, If I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that a truck was coming at you and you didn’t believe it that that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you, and this is more important than that.”
In the book bearing his name, God introduces Job to Satan in an incredible way (Job 1:8 ESV). And the only thing Satan could do is agree with God and suggest that the reason why Job is blameless and upright is because God puts a hedge around him. Job’s reputation was well earned especially after God through Satan put him to the test. When push came to shove after losing everything including his health Job kept his faith and got it mostly right. God did have to straighten Job out on several things, but in the end Job learned even more who God is and why he should fear God (Job 42).
How many other people in the Bible could God introduce in the way He introduced Job? How many men living today could be introduced that way? My guess is not many. Job was the gold standard of men, in the time he lived and even to this day.
This brings me to the cross, because I know that without Christ’s death God could only see me as an enemy. I know full well how sinful and terrible of a person I am. It is only through the blood of Christ that God could see me as someone worth considering, as a servant, and even a son. It is not through who or what I am, but through God’s loving plan the God would even deign to look at me, let alone adopt me as His son.
I have been awed by a couple of verses, that have been driving me to my knees in showing me God’s ultimate authority and power.
““Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalms 46:10 ESV)
“You follow me!” (John 21:22 ESV)
I imagine being in conversation with Jesus, spilling out my cares and worries, and after a while Jesus says “you follow ME, now be still, and know that I am God”.
These two verses, are powerful because they do two things. First they end anxiety, worries, concerns, objections, jealousies and pride. Secondly they reminds us to take a good long hard look at who God is.
The discussion is over. The doubt is over! Faith and worship begins!
__________
Please share verses in the comments that drive you to your knees and help you to end the doubt in your mind.
The concept of substitution maybe said, then to lie at the heart of both sin and slavation. For the essence of sin is man substituting himself for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting himself for man. Man asserts himself against God and puts himself for man. Man asserts himself against God and puts himself where only God deserves to be; God sacrifices himself for man and puts himself where only man deserves to be. Man claims prergatives which belong to God alone; God accepts penalties which belong to man alone.
a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities : a war hero.
• the chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities, and with whom the reader is expected to sympathize.
• (in mythology and folklore) a person of superhuman qualities and often semidivine origin, in particular one of those whose exploits and dealings with the gods were the subject of ancient Greek myths and legends.
• (also hero sandwich) another term for submarine sandwich .
Growing up I role played a lot of different super heroes. Some of my favorites were the Six Million Dollar man, Starbuck (Battle Star Galactica), Green Lantern and the Flash. I suppose it is a male thing. I wanted to be a super hero. Why not? Look at who they were. They had neat costumes, good writers, amazing powers and were out to make a difference.
Who wouldn’t want to be Bruce Wayne living the millionaire life style and then every night suiting up and playing hero. What a great way to relieve the tension of hours in the board room or suffering the cocktail parties.
When I got a little older, I always wanted to be a samurai/ninja (Yes, yes I know that is an oxymoron, someday we can discuss Japanese history if you want). I always was fascinated with martial arts (took 10 years of karate when I was young, and in shape). I liked the idea of slipping unseen into a place and kicking butt.
One of the common themes I see in all these heroes whether super hero or just movie hero is anger, rage, cold steel determination. They are fueled with anger, (The Incredible Hulk, Wolverine), or the anger drives them to fight better (Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon), Superman, Batman, Spider man). The other thing I notice is it seems that all of the super heroes that I can think of have had to use the “evil doers” methods. They will steal, hurt, kill in order to save people, usually their loved ones.
There is one, who was something incredibly different than what we consider a hero. This man was ordinary, gentle, despised by the world, probably thought of as a coward, never stooped to someone else’s level to win a battle. He has more power than any hero before or after him, real or make believe. He fought his battles in the most unexpected ways. He used love and kindness. He confounded his contemporaries, going against every worldly thought they had. He used gentleness instead of power, he used love instead of anger. What kind of hero was he?
He allowed himself to be sacrificed in the most humiliating way.
He was whipped, and beaten
He was nailed to the cross
He hung there in pain, each nail being pounded in to his hands.
He took all the sin, all the slime that this despicable world had and embraced it to take it from the world.
He hung there and did nothing. Why didn’t he do anything?
He had power beyond belief. He didn’t have to suffer.
He hung there because he HAD to die.
He had to die in order to save us!
Christ came to save us. From the time he started his ministry (maybe from the time he was born) he had one mission that is to prepare us for the moment on the cross. He did not do this for glory. He did not do this for fame. He did it out of love and obedience. He did it to fulfill his Father’s plan of our redemption.
Christ redefines what a hero is. My hero worship only goes to one place now!
The year is ending and a new one is just about ready to begin. This is the time of year where many people take a look at their life and evaluate it. This is the time to celebrate or regret the past and move on into the future. It is out with the old and in with the new. A time of transition.
We are at the end of the holiday season. A time for togetherness, family and love. The holiday season has always been a very hard time for me. From the first of November to the first week of January, I want to hide, hibernate in my apartment. Let’s just say I do not have an idyllic relationship with my family and I always seemed to bring everyone else down or cause problems.
This holiday season, my mind has been drifting to the parable of the “Prodigal (Lost) Son” in Luke 15. The prodigal lived life with his father who loved him. He was attracted to the world by the seeming glitz, glamor and freedom. The prodigal was unhappy with his home life and was convinced he would find the happiness he so richly deserved out in the world. He left home, only to find out how deceptive and empty all of that is. He spent everything, had nothing and became everything he despised. He decided he should go home, at least his father would treat him no worse than the other employees. He expected to come home to be chastised and to be treated like a slave/employee. He came home and was celebrated over and shown how much he is loved.
This year kicking and screaming and with much fan fair (thanks I think, you know who you are), I turned 40 years old. A realization hit me (God dropped an anvil on my head). I finally came home. I came home to my Father and my family. I was celebrated over and shown how much I am loved. I came home to the Father I never knew that I had, to be loved in a way I never knew possible.
I grew up in a reformed Jewish home. I might even go as far as saying that my family agnostic. They at the very least feel that faith in God is not something to be discussed, but most likely do not really know in their mind if God exists. Growing up, there always seemed something missing out of my life. I fell into depression and acting out. I became uncontrollable at home. As I grew older it always seemed that something was missing from my life. I say that with 20/20 hindsight. I am not even sure if I knew that something was missing. I grew more and more desperate to fill that hole inside me. The more desperate I became the farther away from God I went. I slowly became everything that I hated. I was extremely depressed, very unstable and ready to die. In May 2005 somehow, someway God reached out to me and started me on the journey home to a home I never knew I had.
I have made it home to a Father that loved me so much that he created a world where he could show us His love. Even though we failed him, and became everything he hated, our Father paved a road to salvation with the blood of His only begotten Son Jesus. Our Father took the wrath and punishment we deserved and took it out on His only begotten Son in order to be able to be with us. I have come home to a church family of sisters and brothers in Christ that reflects that love. I have come home to where I belong to live a life, with a purpose and fulfillment of glorifying our God and His Son Jesus Christ.
It is with my new family I celebrate this time of year. Celebrate the birth of our King, celebrate the love of our God. Thank you God for being my Father, and Christ for being my King. Thank you to all my church family and brothers and sisters of Christ that have taken me in and have continuously reflected God’s love.
I sit here early Christmas morning beginning to comprehend the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us. Jesus Christ’s physical death on the cross was heinous, gruesome and brutal. Jesus not only died physically on the cross, he took the punishment for all the sin of mankind. As Isaiah 53 describes so vividly is that “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him and by his wounds we were healed.” In 1Corinthians Paul talks about “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
God took the submissive, pure and innocent lamb and slaughtered him physically on the cross and crushed him with His wrath. That is the punishment we deserve. That is the punishment I deserve. The apostle Paul knew who we were, “As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” “Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.” “The poison of vipers is on their lips.” “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.” “Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know.” “There is no fear of God before their eyes.””
(Romans 3:10-18 NIV-G/K)
Jesus willingly took the punishment that we deserved. There is a word that describes what Jesus did for us it is propitiation. Propitiation means “that which appeases the wrath of God against sin.” Jesus Christ became our atoning sacrifice. His death on the cross turned aside the wrath of God.
Jerry Bridges in his book “The Discipline of Grace” describes it this way: “First God presented Him, or set Him forth as an atoning sacrifice. It is God the Father who initiated the whole plan of salvation. It is God the Father who provide the sacrifice of His Son to satisfy His justice and appease His own wrath.”
Did you catch that? God the Father KNEW he was going to have to give up his Son in order to save the wretched creatures he created.
One two cent theory is that the creation of the universe was created out of an outpouring of God’s love. God knew that by the creation of the universe we were going to need the sacrifice of His son. The plan of salvation by sacrificing His Son was created before He created the universe.
John Piper in an article called “The Suffering of Christ and the Sovereignty of God” says “The entire universe exists to display the greatness of the glory of the grace of God“ Piper goes on to say that “the death of Christ in supreme suffering is the highest, clearest, surest display of the glory of the grace of God…. The suffering of the utterly innocent and infinitely holy Son of God in the place of utterly undeserving sinners to bring us to everlasting joy is the greatest display of the glory of God’s grace that ever was, or ever could be.
Grace has been defined as the undeserved favor of God shown to those who deserve His wrath. In simpler terms it is love. All of what God has done is about love. He created us to show us his outpouring of love. He gave us the Old Covenant Law to help us realize that we need a savior. He gave us a savior, His only Son, to rescue us from the consequences of our actions. He gives us a path towards everlasting life and fellowship with Him.
In the end, Jesus had to die on the cross in order to show us how much God, the Father and Jesus the Son loves us.
Merry Christmas and remember God’s love for us!
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
(John 3:16 NIV-G/K)
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved.”
(Ephesians 2:3-5 NIV-G/K)
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