I ventured over to the other blog and something else caught my eye about these two “Sarah and David had never kissed each other or anyone else for that fact before today. Their very first kiss was today at the altar. How incredible.”

How incredible, indeed. Here are two people who lived out God’s commands. This summer I had the honor to be at a wedding of two people who are very dear to me, who lived out their lives in obedience too.

There is a beauty in their obedience. There was a God glorifying beauty in the first kiss between husband and wife. The first kiss between my two friends is something that I will remember for a long time because the results of their obedience ended up in something so God Glorifying.

Why am I talking about this, you wonder? What does this have to do with anything? What do I know about marriage?
I know nothing about marriage and am finding out that I know even less about love.

What I do know about is the results of sin. I don’t know who reads my blog, not sure if anyone does. But if you are someone at the cross roads between obedience and living for yourself or if you are questioning God’s commands about purity, here are some things to think about.

I didn’t go down the road of obedience, I went down the road of living for myself. My first kiss was to a girl some 25 years ago and I have been with others too, who either despise me or hopefully just have forgotten about me.

Five years ago God claimed me as His own. God calls us to purity and holiness. The battle rages within me as much as I want to be pure and holy, the false promises of the world keep trying to tempt me. The seduction of the pleasure of sinful sex is extremely powerful

Though it is possible that I will get married and it will be a beautiful God glorifying marriage. I will always have the echo of my past memories in my head trying to destroy what marriage is suppose to be and trying to make it into the image the world portrays.

Albert Mohler, in 2004 gave a talk about “The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage” (available in a manuscript and audio form) to the male students of Boyce College. I am stealing the quote from the infamous Justin Taylor. See the contrast between one who believes and lives by the worlds lies or lives by the command for sexual purity:

Two Pictures: Purified vs Pornified

I encourage young guys in particular to read it and listen to it.
Here is an excerpt, where he talks about two pictures of male sexuality:
The first picture is of a man who has set himself toward a commitment to sexual purity, and is living in sexual integrity with his wife. In order to fulfill his wife’s rightful expectations and to maximize their mutual pleasure in the marriage bed, he is careful to live, to talk, to lead, and to love in such a way that his wife finds her fulfillment in giving herself to him in love. The sex act then becomes a fulfillment of their entire relationship, not an isolated physical act that is merely incidental to their love for each other. Neither uses sex as means of manipulation, neither is inordinately focused merely on self-centered personal pleasure, and both give themselves to each other in unapologetic and unhindered sexual passion. In this picture, there is no shame. Before God, this man can be confident that he is fulfilling his responsibilities both as a male and as a man. He is directing his sexuality, his sex drive, and his physical embodiment toward the one-flesh relationship that is the perfect paradigm of God’s intention in creation.
Mohler then asks us to consider the picture of another man:
This man lives alone, or at least in a context other than holy marriage. Directed inwardly rather than outwardly, his sex drive has become an engine for lust and self-gratification. Pornography is the essence of his sexual interest and arousal. Rather than taking satisfaction in his wife, he looks at dirty pictures in order to be rewarded with sexual arousal that comes without responsibility, expectation, or demand. Arrayed before him are a seemingly endless variety of naked women, sexual images of explicit carnality, and a cornucopia of perversions intended to seduce the imagination and corrupt the soul.
This man need not be concerned with his physical appearance, his personal hygiene, or his moral character in the eyes of a wife. Without this structure an accountability, he is free to take his sexual pleasure without regard for his unshaved face, his slothfulness, his halitosis, his body odor, and his physical appearance. He faces no requirement of personal respect, and no eyes gaze upon him in order to evaluate the seriousness and worthiness of his sexual desire. Instead, his eyes roam across the images of unblinking faces, leering at women who make no demands upon him, who never speak back, and who can never say no. There is no exchange of respect, no exchange of love, and nothing more than the using of women as sex objects for his individual and inverted sexual pleasure.
By logical consequence, he achieves sexual gratification at the expense of women who have been used and abused as commodified sex objects. He may imagine a sex act as he fulfills his physical pleasure, but he almost certainly does not imagine what it would mean to be responsible for this woman as husband and accountable to her as mate. He can sit in his soiled underwear, belching the remnants of last night’s pizza, and engage in a pattern of one-handed sexual satisfaction while he “surfs the net” and forfeits his soul.
Here’s the point:
These two pictures of male sexuality are deliberately intended to drive home the point that every man must decide who he will be, whom he will serve, and how he will love. In the end, a man’s decision about pornography is a decision about his soul, a decision about his marriage, a decision about his wife, and a decision about God.
Pornography is a slander against the goodness of God’s creation and a corruption of this good gift God has given his creatures out of his own self-giving love. To abuse this gift is to weaken, not only the institution of marriage, but the fabric of civilization itself. To choose lust over love is to debase humanity and to worship the false god Priapus in the most brazen form of modern idolatry.
You can read it and listen to it online.
If you are struggling with sexual sin or any sin. Find a trusted Christian brother and bring the issue out into the light and through God’s mercy and grace, and your discipline you can become the man God wants you to be.

How I Approach God When Feeling Rotten

November 17, 2008  |  By: John Piper

A vague bad feeling that you are a crummy person is not the same as conviction for sin. Feeling rotten is not the same as repentance.

This morning I began to pray, and felt unworthy to be talking to the Creator of the universe. It was a vague sense of unworthiness. So I told him so. Now what?

Nothing changed until I began to get specific about my sins. Crummy feelings can be useful if they lead to conviction for sins. Vague feelings of being a bad person are not very helpful. The fog of unworthiness needs to take shape into clear dark pillars of disobedience. Then you can point to them and repent and ask for forgiveness and take aim to blow them up.

So I began to call to mind the commands I frequently break. These are the ones that came to mind.

• Love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Not 95%, 100%. (Matthew 22:37)
• Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Be as eager for things to go well for him as you are for things to go well for you. (Matthew 22:39)
• Do all things without grumbling. No grumbling—inside or outside. (Philippians 2:14)
• Cast all your anxieties on him—so you are not being weighed down by it anymore. (1 Peter 5:7)
• Only say things that give grace to others—especially those closest to you. (Ephesians 4:29)
• Redeem the time. Don’t fritter or dawdle. (Ephesians 5:16)
• Set your mind on things that are above. Connect all your thoughts to Christ. (Colossians 3:2)
• Do not return evil for evil—like when your wife or daughter says something you don’t like. (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
• Rejoice always, and again I say rejoice. Always. If sorrowful, keep rejoicing. (Philippians 4:4; 2 Corinthians 6:10)
• Give thanks in all circumstances. All. All. All. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

So much for any pretensions to great holiness! I’m undone.

But now it is specific. I look it in the eye. I’m not whining about feeling crummy. I’m apologizing to Christ for not keeping all that he commanded. I’m broken and I’m angry at my sin. I want to kill it, not me. I’m not suicidal. I’m a sin hater and a sin murderer (“Put to death what is earthly in you” Colossians 3:5. “Put to death the deeds of the body” Romans 3:18.)

In this conflict, I hear the promise, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9). Peace rises. Prayer feels possible and right and powerful again.

We are at the end of the holiday season. A time for togetherness, family and love. The holiday season has always been a very hard time for me. From the first of November to the first week of January, I want to hide, hibernate in my apartment. Let’s just say I do not have an idyllic relationship with my family and I always seemed to bring everyone else down or cause problems.

This holiday season, my mind has been drifting to the parable of the “Prodigal (Lost) Son” in Luke 15. The prodigal lived life with his father who loved him. He was attracted to the world by the seeming glitz, glamor and freedom. The prodigal was unhappy with his home life and was convinced he would find the happiness he so richly deserved out in the world. He left home, only to find out how deceptive and empty all of that is. He spent everything, had nothing and became everything he despised. He decided he should go home, at least his father would treat him no worse than the other employees. He expected to come home to be chastised and to be treated like a slave/employee. He came home and was celebrated over and shown how much he is loved.

This year kicking and screaming and with much fan fair (thanks I think, you know who you are), I turned 40 years old. A realization hit me (God dropped an anvil on my head). I finally came home. I came home to my Father and my family. I was celebrated over and shown how much I am loved. I came home to the Father I never knew that I had, to be loved in a way I never knew possible.

I grew up in a reformed Jewish home. I might even go as far as saying that my family agnostic. They at the very least feel that faith in God is not something to be discussed, but most likely do not really know in their mind if God exists. Growing up, there always seemed something missing out of my life. I fell into depression and acting out. I became uncontrollable at home. As I grew older it always seemed that something was missing from my life. I say that with 20/20 hindsight. I am not even sure if I knew that something was missing. I grew more and more desperate to fill that hole inside me. The more desperate I became the farther away from God I went. I slowly became everything that I hated. I was extremely depressed, very unstable and ready to die. In May 2005 somehow, someway God reached out to me and started me on the journey home to a home I never knew I had.

I have made it home to a Father that loved me so much that he created a world where he could show us His love. Even though we failed him, and became everything he hated, our Father paved a road to salvation with the blood of His only begotten Son Jesus. Our Father took the wrath and punishment we deserved and took it out on His only begotten Son in order to be able to be with us. I have come home to a church family of sisters and brothers in Christ that reflects that love. I have come home to where I belong to live a life, with a purpose and fulfillment of glorifying our God and His Son Jesus Christ.

It is with my new family I celebrate this time of year. Celebrate the birth of our King, celebrate the love of our God. Thank you God for being my Father, and Christ for being my King. Thank you to all my church family and brothers and sisters of Christ that have taken me in and have continuously reflected God’s love.

God bless you All!

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Whenever my life seems to fall apart , that seems about every week, I feel I have no right to share my life journey with God. Maybe I have that backwards. Maybe as my life is falling apart I need to be writing and sharing

I don’t claim to be smart. I don’t claim to be a teacher. I am not a bible scholar. I wish I was sometimes. All I am is a struggling Christian trying to follow my Savior and to live a life that glorify Him.

Technorati Tags: Depression

All I have to do is look up to my Father in Heaven,
my Savior, my King, the Lord in Heaven.

I just wonder why it is so hard to remember…

Technorati Tags: Depression, God