What Is Love?

I ventured over to the other blog and something else caught my eye about these two “Sarah and David had never kissed each other or anyone else for that fact before today. Their very first kiss was today at the altar. How incredible.”

How incredible, indeed. Here are two people who lived out God’s commands. This summer I had the honor to be at a wedding of two people who are very dear to me, who lived out their lives in obedience too.

There is a beauty in their obedience. There was a God glorifying beauty in the first kiss between husband and wife. The first kiss between my two friends is something that I will remember for a long time because the results of their obedience ended up in something so God Glorifying.

Why am I talking about this, you wonder? What does this have to do with anything? What do I know about marriage?
I know nothing about marriage and am finding out that I know even less about love.

What I do know about is the results of sin. I don’t know who reads my blog, not sure if anyone does. But if you are someone at the cross roads between obedience and living for yourself or if you are questioning God’s commands about purity, here are some things to think about.

I didn’t go down the road of obedience, I went down the road of living for myself. My first kiss was to a girl some 25 years ago and I have been with others too, who either despise me or hopefully just have forgotten about me.

Five years ago God claimed me as His own. God calls us to purity and holiness. The battle rages within me as much as I want to be pure and holy, the false promises of the world keep trying to tempt me. The seduction of the pleasure of sinful sex is extremely powerful

Though it is possible that I will get married and it will be a beautiful God glorifying marriage. I will always have the echo of my past memories in my head trying to destroy what marriage is suppose to be and trying to make it into the image the world portrays.

Albert Mohler, in 2004 gave a talk about “The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage” (available in a manuscript and audio form) to the male students of Boyce College. I am stealing the quote from the infamous Justin Taylor. See the contrast between one who believes and lives by the worlds lies or lives by the command for sexual purity:

Two Pictures: Purified vs Pornified

I encourage young guys in particular to read it and listen to it.
Here is an excerpt, where he talks about two pictures of male sexuality:
The first picture is of a man who has set himself toward a commitment to sexual purity, and is living in sexual integrity with his wife. In order to fulfill his wife’s rightful expectations and to maximize their mutual pleasure in the marriage bed, he is careful to live, to talk, to lead, and to love in such a way that his wife finds her fulfillment in giving herself to him in love. The sex act then becomes a fulfillment of their entire relationship, not an isolated physical act that is merely incidental to their love for each other. Neither uses sex as means of manipulation, neither is inordinately focused merely on self-centered personal pleasure, and both give themselves to each other in unapologetic and unhindered sexual passion. In this picture, there is no shame. Before God, this man can be confident that he is fulfilling his responsibilities both as a male and as a man. He is directing his sexuality, his sex drive, and his physical embodiment toward the one-flesh relationship that is the perfect paradigm of God’s intention in creation.
Mohler then asks us to consider the picture of another man:
This man lives alone, or at least in a context other than holy marriage. Directed inwardly rather than outwardly, his sex drive has become an engine for lust and self-gratification. Pornography is the essence of his sexual interest and arousal. Rather than taking satisfaction in his wife, he looks at dirty pictures in order to be rewarded with sexual arousal that comes without responsibility, expectation, or demand. Arrayed before him are a seemingly endless variety of naked women, sexual images of explicit carnality, and a cornucopia of perversions intended to seduce the imagination and corrupt the soul.
This man need not be concerned with his physical appearance, his personal hygiene, or his moral character in the eyes of a wife. Without this structure an accountability, he is free to take his sexual pleasure without regard for his unshaved face, his slothfulness, his halitosis, his body odor, and his physical appearance. He faces no requirement of personal respect, and no eyes gaze upon him in order to evaluate the seriousness and worthiness of his sexual desire. Instead, his eyes roam across the images of unblinking faces, leering at women who make no demands upon him, who never speak back, and who can never say no. There is no exchange of respect, no exchange of love, and nothing more than the using of women as sex objects for his individual and inverted sexual pleasure.
By logical consequence, he achieves sexual gratification at the expense of women who have been used and abused as commodified sex objects. He may imagine a sex act as he fulfills his physical pleasure, but he almost certainly does not imagine what it would mean to be responsible for this woman as husband and accountable to her as mate. He can sit in his soiled underwear, belching the remnants of last night’s pizza, and engage in a pattern of one-handed sexual satisfaction while he “surfs the net” and forfeits his soul.
Here’s the point:
These two pictures of male sexuality are deliberately intended to drive home the point that every man must decide who he will be, whom he will serve, and how he will love. In the end, a man’s decision about pornography is a decision about his soul, a decision about his marriage, a decision about his wife, and a decision about God.
Pornography is a slander against the goodness of God’s creation and a corruption of this good gift God has given his creatures out of his own self-giving love. To abuse this gift is to weaken, not only the institution of marriage, but the fabric of civilization itself. To choose lust over love is to debase humanity and to worship the false god Priapus in the most brazen form of modern idolatry.
You can read it and listen to it online.
If you are struggling with sexual sin or any sin. Find a trusted Christian brother and bring the issue out into the light and through God’s mercy and grace, and your discipline you can become the man God wants you to be.

“Do you not fear me? declares the LORD. Do you not tremble before me?” (Jeremiah 5:22 ESV)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 ESV)

Fear and worry is one of those things that comes with depression and probably a consequence of the lifestyle I lived and most likely a consequence of life in general. Fear is certainly not a pleasant thing and the bible in general tells us very explicitly not to fear.

Doing a word search in the ESV for the words “Do not fear” it comes up with 37 hits in 35 verses.

Gen 35:17; Gen 50:19, 21; Ex 20:20; Num 14:9; Num 21:34; Deut 1:21; Deut 3:2; Deut 20:3; Deut 31:6, 8; Josh 8:1; Josh 10:8; Judg 6:23; Ruth 3:11; 1 Sam 23:17; 2 Sam 9:7; 2 Sam 13:28; 1 Kings 17:13; 2 Kings 17:34; Psa 55:19; Isa 7:4; Isa 8:12; Isa 57:11; Jer 42:11; Lam 3:57; Hos 10:3; Mal 3:5; Matt 1:20; Matt 10:28; Mark 5:36; Luke 8:50; Luke 12:4; 1 Pet 3:6; Rev 2:10

“Fear Not” comes up 33 more times.
Gen 15:1; Gen 21:17; Gen 26:24; Ex 14:13; 1 Chr 22:13; Isa 35:4; Isa 40:9; Isa 41:10, 13-14; Isa 43:1, 5; Isa 44:2, 8; Isa 51:7; Isa 54:4; Jer 30:10; Jer 46:27-28; Dan 10:12, Dan 19; Joel 2:21-22; Zeph 3:16; Hag 2:5; Zech 8:13, 15; Matt 10:31; Luke 2:10; Luke 12:7, 32; John 12:15; Rev 1:17

Stand Firm a dozen more times
Ex 14:13; 2 Chr 20:17; Psa 89:28; Isa 46:8; Dan 11:32; 1 Cor 16:13; 2 Cor 1:24; Gal 5:1; Eph 6:13; Phil 4:1; 2 Th 2:15; 1 Pet 5:12

Do not be anxious 8 times
Matt 6:25, 31, 34; Matt 10:19; Mark 13:11; Luke 12:11, 22; Phil 4:6

It is interesting to me that close to a hundred times the Bible tells us not to fear about our lives. And yet most of us spend all our time fearing and worrying about all the things we are not suppose to fear. When we worry or fear we are not trusting God. Though there is ONE thing we are suppose to fear and that is God himself.

Fear the Lord 34 times
Ex 9:30; Deut 6:2, 24; Deut 10:12, 20; Deut 14:23; Deut 17:19; Deut 31:12-13; Josh 4:24; Josh 24:14; 1 Sam 12:14, 24; 2 Kings 17:25, 28, 34, 36, 39; Psa 15:4; Psa 22:23; Psa 27:1; Psa 33:8; Psa 34:9; Psa 115:11, 13; Psa 118:4; Psa 135:20; Prov 3:7; Prov 24:21; Jer 5:24; Jer 26:19; Hos 10:3; Amos 3:8; Jonah 1:9

Fear of the Lord 27 times
2 Chr 14:14; 2 Chr 17:10; 2 Chr 19:7, 9; Job 28:28; Psa 19:9; Psa 34:11; Psa 111:10; Prov 1:7, 29; Prov 2:5; Prov 8:13; Prov 9:10; Prov 10:27; Prov 14:26-27; Prov 15:16, 33; Prov 16:6; Prov 19:23; Prov 22:4; Prov 23:17; Isa 11:2-3; Isa 33:6; Acts 9:31; 2 Cor 5:11

In a simple search of the Bible it tells us to fear the Lord as many times as it says not to fear anything else. Maybe we need to take some time and fear and give reverence, honor and glory to the Lord instead of worrying and having fear for the world.

Quoting from the New International Encyclopedia of Bible Words.
Fear of the Lord. This religious fear, or awe, is God’s answer to the ordinary fears that master human beings.
Such fear is reverence for God. We who fear God recognize him as the ultimate reality, and we respond to him. Fear of God is called the “beginning of knowledge” (Pr 1:7), meaning that taking God into account is the foundation of a disciplined and holy life (Pr 1:3; cf. Ge 20:11; Ps 36:1-4). To fear God means to reject every competing deity and to serve him only (Dt 6:13). Fear of the Lord is expressed by walking in all his ways, by loving him, and by serving him with all our heart and soul (Dt 10:12; Job 1:1; Ps 128:1).
While fear of God is closely linked with morality and with obedience to God’s commands, it is also freeing. To fear God means to recognize him as Creator and to know that his plans stand firm forever (Ps 33:8-11). God has a special concern for all who fear him (vv. 18-19; cf. Ps 31:19; 34:9). Thus those who fear God can say with the psalmist, “We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you” (Ps 33:20-22).

Maybe it is time we realign our fears to focus on the one biblically correct fear. What tricks do you use to deal with your fears of the world and help you to realign them to focus on God?

“For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death.”
(Romans 6:20-21 ESV)

Earlier Paul states that either we are slaves of sin, which leads to death or of obedience which leads to righteousness (Romans 6:16 ESV).

Several thoughts come to me about this:

• Most unsaved people do not know that they are slaves.
• Since you do not know you are a slave, they think they are free, no authority, no consequences.
• When we receive the holy spirit, we finally realize we are slaves.
• Yet we willingly go back to the slavery of sin, because of the immediate gratification.

What stuns me about the verse above is that Paul asks the perfect question, you have been living this life full of pride, greed, selfishness, lust (just name your sin) and what have you gotten from it other than shame?

What stuns me is that I now have been saved from the shame, guilt, punishment and death of my sinful life style and yet I crave to go back to my sin.

I am just thinking about application here.
If I want to complain about something… What fruit will that produce?
If I want to lust about something… What fruit will that produce?
If I want to gossip about someone… What fruit will that produce?

It is a question that I need to pray to God to bring in front of my face in every aspect of my life!

“Sin is the dare of God’s justice, the rape of His mercy, the jeer of His patience, the slight of His power, and the contempt of His love”
John Bunyan

Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate… Let the Christian rest content with his worldliness . . . Let him be comforted and rest assured in his possession of grace—for grace alone does everything. Instead of following Christ, let the Christian enjoy the consolations of his grace! That is what we mean by cheap grace… The only man who has the right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ… We… have gathered like eagles round the carcass of cheap grace, and there we have drunk of the poison which has killed the life of following Christ.

The problem is not that satan is going to ask us to kill someone as in the case of Isaac and Abraham. You would know to test that right away. The problem is that satan is far more insidious than that. He is not going to be that direct. He is far more subtle than that. He masquerades as an angel of light. Satan’s strategy is to wear us down. Satan is patient. Each time we succumb to the enemy’s temptation, it erodes what God has built in us, takes us further away from God, and all that we know true, until someday killing someone seems to be right and what God wants. This is a very slippery path. I think it is why we are commanded not only to confess our sins but to repent, turn away from them. We must close and lock the door to satan.

Satan tempts us in order to make us fail (and turn away from God). God tests us in order to confirm our faith or prove our commitment. (NIV NEW Study Bible).

I think our circumstances are quite different than that of Abraham’s in a couple of different ways. First, our relationship with God is not as direct as it was with Abraham. Secondly we have not only the Bible, the Holy Spirit and a personal relationship with Christ to counsel and guide us. Thirdly I think Satan’s hold on the world is far stronger. Lastly Satan knows he lost the war, but he wants to make Christ’s victory as costly as possible. Personally I think the last point makes him far more dangerous.

The more I look at this, the more I realize how important your statement is. We cannot believe that some “voice out of the darkness” is necessarily God. I don’t think it is lack of faith to test something (in fact if we don’t test it, it maybe disobedience to God). God not only gave us the tools, but he gave us the command.

This leaves two questions(actually I have about 200)…
What do I test?:
Everything… Being more practical, Test anything that looks to be questionable, to be good to be true, anything that is shortcuts and makes things easier, and offers that “expire”. God never said it was going to be easy living the Christian life. Personally it has been one of the hardest, challenging and painful things I have ever done. It also has been one of the most beautiful and fulfilling.

How do I test?:
Pray about it. Pray strong, persistently and ask God for his strong guidance and discernment. Talk to your friends, your mentors, your parents and pray with them. Read and trust your Bible. Using the tools of Ephesians 6. Lastly the thing I am learning is submitting to God. (this of course leads me to another discussion about how do you fight through submission, love, truth, etc, )

Let me explain that a little better, I am not talking about submitting to the “suggestion”. I am talking about submitting to our Lord, our King, our Father, our Friend, our Guide. The One we know. The more I force a situation because “I” think it is good the more I screw it up. It is why I have been TRYING to submit and let him guide me, instead of trying to run my life myself.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 – Test everything. Hold on to the good.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewsing of your mind. Then you will be test and approve what God’s will is – his pleasing and perfect will.

1 John 4:1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Matthew 4:3-4 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Hebrews 4:12-13 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul, and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight Everying is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him who we must give account.

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